Explore Inspiring Stories with Fine Artist
Jennifer Hunter, WCWS, WAOW, APA
“You’re braver than you believe, stronger than you seem and smarter than you think.” ~ Winnie the Pooh
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Stories of Courage, Creativity and Inspiration
A Gift for my Surgeon
“Creativity and
gratitude are the antidotes to fear”
The act of creating art is
all about choices and it empowered me. I would be very vulnerable on
the operating table and I needed to feel some control over a
situation during which I would be unable to speak for myself.
Fearing pain, and not knowing the outcome was the source of my
anxiety and my art helped me get past that fear.
I was quickly loosing the
ability to make paintings because I could not hold my arms up to
paint, and didn’t have good coordinated control from my shoulders.
My fingers could make coordinated movements, but every effort hurt
and was fatiguing. I didn’t want to create inferior paintings, so I
stopped doing what I loved the most.
“Finding common
ground”
I brought an original
painting to our first meeting. Dr. Fogelson looked at the painting
and said he wouldn’t mind having something like this hanging is his
house. I responded that could be arranged and we all laughed. We’d
made a common connection that built trust between us. I had
confidence in him as a surgeon and he had confidence in me as a
patient knowing how important this was for me.
He agreed to let me make
sketches of him which I explained would help me. This really was a
mind game for myself since I only paint subjects that I like and I
wanted to be comfortable with this surgeon. I needed to relate to a
compassionate human being, and not just a doctor as his surgical
case. It made me feel that I was part of his team and he knew more
about me. He probably didn’t need that as much as I did, but it made
me feel better to think that I was contributing to his success in
treating me. Now I just had my fear to conquer.
“Visualize the
future”
I wanted my surgeon to
think about my art as he thought about me and how that would give
meaning to his job as a surgeon. He poked a bit of fun at himself
asking me to draw him with smaller cheeks, so I knew he didn’t take
himself too seriously. I had to trust myself in believing that this
surgery would address the issues I had and that I would make a
complete recovery and it would end my spine pain. Because I’d had a
background of scientific experimentation, I questioned the causes of
my symptoms as they developed, and used my creative thinking to
imagine other possibilities as solutions to my problems. I
visualized my spine and thought about the problem in three
dimensions.
“Smile…. just
because”
I wanted to think about my
surgeon as a nice guy rather than a surgeon and sketching his
portrait let me do that, and it gave me a place to send my nervous
energy… right to the person I needed to help me. I was drawing the
relationship I wanted to have with him because I wanted him to like
me too, and by drawing a picture of him smiling at me, I was
experiencing that interaction and making it a reality.
I had an artistic
challenge to work toward, that I could draw a sketch of him that he
would like. I had to make him look sensitive and thoughtful, young
and confident, and this occupied my mind and distracted me from
thinking about being afraid. As an artist, my job is to create
reality as an illusion. I could turn this process toward creating my
own reality and direct the healing of my spine from my mind. There
would be no second chance to get this right, so I had to do my
homework and trust myself to make a good decision for my surgical
intervention and my future.
“The test of my
recovered abilities and the connection to Mayo Clinic history”
I wanted to officially
paint my surgeon not only to thank him for giving me back my artistic
gift, but also as the ultimate test of my newly recovered abilities,
so I scheduled a follow up appointment when I could photograph him in
his scrubs on one of his surgery days and arranged this with his
nurse. He was a good sport and even clowned around a bit much to my
delight. I’d planned to paint him in front of the doors of the
historic Plummer building, one of the original medical buildings of
Mayo Clinic. Dr. Fogelson had been trained in neurosurgery at Mayo
and had the history of Mayo behind him, so it made sense to represent
that with the image of the doors behind him. The doors are also a
work of art in themselves with beautiful carved figures representing
the healing history of Mayo Clinic and I was eager to paint them.
“Dance around your
fear and embrace it”
Anyone
can do something creative. It doesn’t need to be a masterpiece, so
don’t let making art or doing a craft intimidate you. Becoming an
artist is about failing and learning from mistakes and not fearing
creating because creativity is the antidote to fear. You get to
experiment and dance around your fear of failure and embrace it. You
could just as easily do scrap booking, quilting or even adult
coloring books. You can draw silly cartoons and you don’t have to
show them to anyone else, but you’ll have the benefit of releasing
some energy. Taking a walk in nature with your camera is just as
good or decorating a room at home. That might be too big of a
project for someone with spine issues, but the result is that the
pleasant environment affects you in positive ways and makes you feel
good about yourself. You need this reminder that things are good
when you are trying to overcome fear. It’s a safe place to escape
into when things get stressful.
© 2020 Jennifer Hunter
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Horses are Healing
Sudden Change
My life changed in an instant. I clung
to the mare as she galloped across the field and away from something
unknown. When I found myself on the ground as she ran away, it was
only then that I realized I had fallen and her will to escape an
imagined danger had unseated me. I was wearing my helmet and fell
squarely on my side on the soft grassy field.
I was in new uncharted territory. As I
slowly sat up, I knew my ankle was broken because it was dislocated
and I could see that it was bleeding inside my boot. I felt a nerve
twinging and with my hands, I gently straightened my ankle a little
bit to take the pressure off the nerve and loosened the laces, but
held onto the boot to support my ankle. Because my body was in
shock, I didn’t have extreme pain yet. The other horses also spooked
because when one goes, they all go. One of the other girls had also
fallen, but was unhurt. They collected the loose horses and a friend
came to assist me on the ground and let me lean on her. I couldn’t
do anything except hold onto my foot because if it dangled there was
more pain.
The Rescue
It took a long time for the county
ambulance to find me and they succeeded with directions from a local
sheriff. The paramedic looked like a guy who would have been out
fishing and enjoying the outdoors accompanied by a woman who drove
the ambulance. Out of precaution, I was placed on a back board with
my neck immobilized, my boot was removed and he placed a temporary
splint to secure my leg. I was carried through a creek to a waiting
ambulance on the other side under a canopy of green. Inside, I was
strapped to a board under 6 round lights on the ceiling and away we
went down the highway.
Busy Doctors
An hour later, I saw the large red
letters that spelled EMERGENCY as I was carried under them into the
busyness of the emergency room where I told my story. They began a
series of images and placed IV lines and swabbed my sinuses for
COVID – 19. The surgery department was calling for me, and I met
the surgeon and asked some questions. All I could see were his eyes
behind glasses with the rest of his face obscured by protective
covering. His nurse talked to me about her horses and she was so
nice. I enjoyed that and it was a welcome distraction. With
results that my COVID test was negative, I was cleared for surgery
and wheeled into the operating room.
Living with a Disability
For the next few days, I learned to
live with a cage fixed to my ankle, and how to navigate what seemed
like an impossible effort. There was a lot of pain, and pain pills
that nauseated me. Then anti nausea pills and learning how to walk
with a walker and how to navigate stairs. I had to be able to do
that before I would be released and every time my leg hung in a
downward position the pain and pressure increased.
Where Do I Go from Here?
Back at home, I began a search for the
surgeon who would reconstruct my fractured bones. I worried about
the COVID infection rates in Chicago and wanted to avoid the risky
Chicago traffic. I contacted the neurosurgeon at Mayo who had
operated on my spine a few years earlier because of an old injury
and asked for a recommendation. A phone call followed and I had my
appointments and surgery scheduled as simple as that. I knew that I
could trust the recommendation of a surgeon I greatly admired and
respected and who had given back to me the gift of my artistic
ability after a spine problem. He had also given me his blessing to
ride my horse, and now here I was coming back with a horse related
injury. My horse was not sound enough to go on this trail riding
trip, and I was on a borrowed horse that was green and inexperienced,
but had the ability to become a good trail horse and we had all
worked with her before this trip out trail riding together as a
group. If my horse had been able to go, this injury would not have
happened because he is one of those dead broke horses that isn’t
phased by anything. It was just a freak accident, and the horse
wasn’t at fault. She was just doing what she thought she needed to
do for survival.
My Plans for the Painting to Help me
Heal
In healing from this injury, I should
paint some scenes from this trip from the beautiful forests where we
wandered, and the creeks and streams we crossed. Perhaps I will
paint my horse into the scene as if he had been there to protect me.
He is like a large loyal puppy dog who follows me around and I am his
person. A year earlier, my horse and I took a similar trip with
these friends. I miss him and await the day when my ankle will be
well enough to visit him. He misses me too and the carrots I bring.
My horse has taken care of me and kept me safe on our long rides
together.
Trust
Some people think that horses are
dangerous, and yes they can be, but a person needs to understand
them. Because of their size, strength and weight, a person can
easily be injured if the horse doesn’t respect your space or
accidentally steps on you. With training, you build trust and
respect and obedience from the horse, and the rider makes choices for
safety such as correctly steering the horse around trees and
obstacles because the horse isn’t going to calculate for the height
of the rider or how far out the stirrups are. The rider and horse
develop a trust between them, and the person teaches the horse to
overcome its fears. The horse learns to trust the person as a herd
leader and follows.
An Honest Trusted Friend
Horses are also very healing and
honest. You have to treat them well so they will want to please
you, and you have to correct any behavior that could lead to trouble,
and always praise the good behavior. I spent some enjoyable days
riding alone through the woods building my core strength while
rehabbing from my spine surgery on my horse, Chester. I would carry
some carrots in a saddle bag so I could ask him to stop and hand him
a carrot. This trained him to want to stop when I asked instead of
trying to rush back home to the place where he eats and socializes
with other horses. He would also look back at me on his back just
checking in case I was about to reach for a carrot. The carrot
reward also worked in asking him to cross a flowing stream. I asked
for a stop, gave him a carrot, then asked him to go, and as he
happily munched, he walked through the water with no other horses
around to show him what to do. So that is trust and respect.
It feels good to have that kind of
relationship with a horse where you can think together and read each
others mind and body language and both enjoy your shared journey. He
thanks me with his attention and enthusiasm even opening his mouth
for me to place the bit in his mouth and put on his bridle. I thank
him with good care and grooming and by meeting his needs. He’s
waiting for me now and I wish I could hug him, but that will wait for
another day when I can walk again in some fashion. For now, my
friend is hugging him for me. He’s an old horse now, and I will do
my best to care for him and thank him for what he has given to me and
I need him now more than ever. We have a lot of catching up to do. © 2020 Jennifer Hunter
Related Content:
Sharing Mayo Clinic
Using the Art of Medicine to Overcome Fear of Surgery | Sharing Mayo Clinic
Creative Healing: The Story of a Watercolor Portrait
Creative Healing: The Story of a Watercolor Portrait – Realism Today
Victorious ~ Country Magazine
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